Dave Allikas: Music
The Funniest Marx Brother
(Dave Allikas)
The world roared in laughter at the great Marx Brothers
In scene after classic movie scene
Too bad the one whose comic gift was greater than the others
Put together never joined them on the screen
Ah, but those productions based on his writing
For which casts of many millions were engaged
They lost their shirts, but, critics yet unborn will still be citing
Them as quite the zan’yest farces ever staged.
Yes, Groucho and his siblings were a riot; but the scribblings
Of the eldest boy outshine the rest combined
What a sterling comic feat is
Every thousand-plus-page treatise
This unsung comedic genius left behind
You won’t find him in Duck Soup; but, still, among their family group
He was the wackiest of all--just ask their mother
His plan for reapportioning riches had even her in stitches
Karl--the funniest Marx Brother.
Though the best-known venture he inspired hardly earned a rave
From the public, we still bust a funny bone
When we recall its premise: that the working class would slave
Harder for the state’s well-being than their own
The iron curtain fell; it finished deeply in the red
Some of its elements, I guess, were deemed not funny
Like tyranny, starvation, or a bullet in the head
For those who spoke their minds or prayed; still, for my money,
His screwball plot to run the planet, though most people chose to pan it
More than justifies the title we’ve assigned him
Why, just look at Uncle Joe with 20 million slain or so
Or Chairman Mao, whose body count is close behind him
Then think of Cuba, North Korea, and be honest: Can you see a
Way the accolade could go to any other
Not even Chico ever said lines more absurd than all the breadlines
Formed by Karl, the funniest Marx Brother.
His fan club, though, is in quite a blight
There’s been a run on capitalist tools
Today, when the workers of the world unite
It’s generally around their inground pools
Yes, they were vocal, sometimes vi'lent, but like Harpo, they’re now silent
The revolution’s largely lost its drive
Red China’s seen a schism, too; the goons there added “ism” to
Das Kapital, to keep the folks alive
His work lives on now just in theory, long disproved, but still, I fear he
Has some fans on whom a safe would have to fall
Or else a hammer and a sickle; still, like I said, Karl, for my nickel,
Is the funniest Marx Brother of them all!